Within Grindhouse are several fake trailers by an assortment of guest directors. Here is the trailer by the winner of the “submit your own grindhouse trailer” that only was screened in Canada with the film. The rest of us have to settle for YouTube. It’s pretty damn good. But I still like Thanksgiving the best.

The Good:
Fracture

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Anthony Hopkins and ROSAMUND PIKE (mmmmm)

The Bad:
Are We Done Yet?

Starring: Ice Cube and Nia Long

The Ugly:
Redline

Starring: Do you honestly care? If so, stop reading this site and go somewhere else.

     Ummm, I remember not thinking too much of I Heart Huckabees when it first came out, but after this news, I definitely want to see it again. Apparently director David O. Russell (Flirting with Disaster, Three Kings - which I love) is a raving lunatic; bordering on psychopathic. Here he is “getting into it” with Lily Tomlin. It looks like she maybe starts this little tiff, but it’s nothing that someone needs to go berserk over. Now I’m not one to gossip, but when I see this stuff first hand, it’s worth sharing with others. Maybe the guy just had a bad day, maybe his dog just got run over. Whatever it is, watch this craziness and leave a comment…

Kudos to Ty Webb for the notice

LOTS of bad language here (you’ve been warned)

Notice how uncomfotable Dustin Hoffman and Schwartzman appear to be during this whole bit. Good for them for keeping their cool.
Wow.

     Thanks to E, through apnews, we learn that after R2’s long career as “the little astro-mech droid who could” ended shortly after Lucas’s films were complete, we find R2 has taken on a new profession: mail collection.

WASHINGTON (AP) - Thirty years ago, in theaters near and far, far away, a movie opened the imaginations of millions, combining the magic of mythology and special effects to launch the “Star Wars” phenomenon.

A star of those films - the brave little robot R2-D2 - is about to take a turn collecting mail as the Postal Service and Lucasfilm Ltd. commemorate that movie launch.

The post office is wrapping mail collection boxes in some 200 cities nationwide in a special covering to look like R2-D2.

It’s part of a promotion for a new stamp to be announced March 28, said Anita T. Bizzotto, the post office’s chief marketing officer.

“It’s a little teaser for the upcoming announcement and we decided to have a little fun with it,” she said.

About 400 mailboxes will be covered to look like the stout droid. “When you look at a mailbox, the resemblance to R2-D2 is too good to pass up,” Bizzotto said.

While postal officials would like people to look for these mailboxes and maybe even drop in a letter, Bizzotto urged people not to tamper with them, noting that’s a crime.

     Notice that R2 is also advertising uspsjedimaster.com. I haven’t been there yet, but will now.

     While the world’s excitement reaches climax about the recognition of the best in film achievement over the past year at tonight’s Oscar award ceremony, the Golden Rasberries (Razzies) winner go largely unnoticed. But not around here. The winners (or losers depending on your perspective) were announced today for unachievement in film. Thankfully, I have not seen many of these as I try to avoid “bad” pictures, although sometimes it is unavoidable.

Razzie Winners are highlighted in RED…

Worst Picture:
Basic Instinct 2 (a.k.a. Basically, It Stinks, Too)
Bloodrayne
Lady In The Water
Little Man
Wicker Man

Worst Actor:
Tim Allen - The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, The Shaggy Dog and Zoom
Nicolas Cage - Wicker Man
Larry, The Cable Guy (Dan Whitney) - Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Rob Schneider - The Benchwarmers and Little Man
Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans - Little Man

Worst Actress:
Hilary Duff & Haylie Duff - Material Girls
Lindsay Lohan - Just My Luck
Kristanna Loken - Bloodrayne
Jessica Simpson - Employee Of The Month
Sharon Stone - Basically It Stinks, Too

Worst Supporting Actor:
Danny DeVito - Deck The Halls
Ben Kingsley - Bloodrayne
M. Night Shyamalan - Lady In The Water
Martin Short - Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
David Thewlis - Basically, It Stinks, Too! and The Omen

Worst Supporting Actress:
Kate Bosworth - Superman Returns
Kristin Chenoweth - Deck The Halls, Pink Panther and RV
Carmen Electra - Date Movie and Scary Movie 4
Jenny McCarthy - John Tucker Must Die
Michelle Rodriguez - Bloodrayne

Worst Screen Couple:
Tim Allen & Martin Short - Santa Clause 3
Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit - Wicker Man
Hilary & Haylie Duff - Material Girls
Sharon Stone’s Lop-Sided Breasts - Basically, It Stinks, Too
Shawn Wayans & EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans - Little Man

Worst Remake or Rip-off:
Little Man (Rip-off of the 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon “Baby Buggy Bunny”)
Pink Panther
Poseidon
The Shaggy Dog Story
Wicker Man

Worst Prequel or Sequel:
Basic Instinct 2 (a.k.a. Basically, It Stinks, Too)
Big Momma’s House 2
Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties
Santa Clause 3
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Worst Director:
Uwe Boll - Bloodrayne
Michael Caton-Jones - Basic Instinct 2
Ron Howard - The Da Vinci Code
M. Night Shyamalan - Lady In The Water
Keenan Ivory Wayans - Little Man

Worst Screenplay:
Basically, It Stinks, Too
(Screenplay by Leora Barish & Henry Bean)
Bloodrayne
(Screenplay by Guinevere Turner, Based on the Video Game)
Lady In The Water
(Written by M. Night Shyamalan)
Little Man
(Written by Keenan Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Shawn Wayans)
Wicker Man
(Screenplay Adapted by Neil LaBute from a Screenplay by Anthony Schaffer)

Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment:
Deck The Halls
Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties
RV
Santa Clause 3
The Shaggy Dog

Awards Per Picture:

Basically, It Stinks, Too — 4 “Wins”:
Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Sequel, Worst Screenplay

Little Man — 3 “Wins”:
Worst Actor, Worst Screen Couple and Worst Remake/Rip-Off

Lady in the Water — 2 “Wins”:
Worst Supporting Actor and Worst Director

     This made me laugh. “[Hollywood’s] garrish gold-plated reacharound they call the Oscars.” Good stuff. Tell us more Stephen…

     Political correctness it seems, knows no bounds. According to monsters&critcs.com, the great Harrison Ford has claimed that he will pull out of the new Indiana Jones project if he is not allowed to use a real whip; as opposed to a CGI one.

     According to the article, new film safety rules have changed since the 80’s, and anything deemed “dangerous stuff” must use computer graphics as a replacement for the real thing.

     Dr. Jones of course, ruled the new regulation “ridiculous” and threatened to leave the film if he couldn’t use the real thing.

     I say goddmamn right. Harrison has been doing his own stunts for years. And as the story goes, he got the scar on his chin for wielding precisely the same whip. To use a CGI whip would cost I don’t know how many dollars and frankly would be just …. lame. Notice to all studios from MoviePatron.com: grow some balls.

     Kevin Smith just doesn’t make bad films. He’s a had a hiccup or two, but nothing bad. Most of his stuff is intelligent, hilarious and thoughtful; even if it is sometimes on the juvenile side. But what is the coolest about Smith is the fact that he’s just a regular dude who loves movies…. good movies. I’ve posted a million lists on this blog, but I had to post Kevin’s because I respect his opinion and I care about what he thinks as a film maker himself (and a damn good one at that). He even listed all of his myspace friends in the credits of Clerks II and personally contacted me via a private letter regarding my review of Clerks II - - how cool is that? According to Kevin’s personal online blog, here are his top ten films of 2006. I like how he titled each selection with a “the one that…” comment. Nice.

10) Borat (The One That Actually Lived Up to Its Hype)
9) Perfume (The One That Made Me Say “What the fuck is going on?!?”)
8) United 93 (The One That Made Me Never Want to Fly Again)
7) The Last King of Scotland (The One That Made Me Never Want to Travel Abroad)
6) V for Vendetta (The One I’ll Take Shit For, Pt. 2)
5) Inside Man (The One Nobody Else Seems to Remember)
4) Clerks II (The One I’ll Take Shit For, Pt. 1)
3) Half Nelson (The One That Made Me Ashamed I Was Ever Identified as an Independent Filmmaker, Because This is Real Independent Film)
2) Little Children (The One That Would’ve Won Best Picture If Harvey Weinstein Had Released It Four Years Ago, Circa Miramax)
1) The Daparted (The One Everybody Else Liked Too)

I’m so glad he included Little Children, Half Nelson and United 93. Though I personally wouldn’t place The Departed so high or even place Borat, film is subjective and that’s cool. The inclusion of those three films proves he knows what he is talking about. Because I said so.

     The Golden Rasberries (Razzies) nominations were announced today for unachievement in film. Thankfully, I have not seen many of these as I try to avoid “bad” pictures, although sometimes it is unavoidable. Therefore, I have not made any predictions or picks. Although personally, I would have to say that Lady in the Water, Poseidon and Pulse were three of the worst films I saw in 2006. More commentary on Tuesday night’s CINECAST.

Razzie Nominees are…

Worst Picture:
Basic Instinct 2 (a.k.a. Basically, It Stinks, Too)
Bloodrayne
Lady In The Water
Little Man
Wicker Man

Worst Actor:
Tim Allen - The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, The Shaggy Dog and Zoom
Nicolas Cage - Wicker Man
Larry, The Cable Guy (Dan Whitney) - Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Rob Schneider - The Benchwarmers and Little Man
Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans - Little Man

Worst Actress:
Hilary Duff & Haylie Duff - Material Girls
Lindsay Lohan - Just My Luck
Kristanna Loken - Bloodrayne
Jessica Simpson - Employee Of The Month
Sharon Stone - Basically It Stinks, Too

Worst Supporting Actor:
Danny DeVito - Deck The Halls
Ben Kingsley - Bloodrayne
M. Night Shyamalan - Lady In The Water
Martin Short - Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
David Thewlis - Basically, It Stinks, Too! and The Omen

Worst Supporting Actress:
Kate Bosworth - Superman Returns
Kristin Chenoweth - Deck The Halls, Pink Panther and RV
Carmen Electra - Date Movie and Scary Movie 4
Jenny McCarthy - John Tucker Must Die
Michelle Rodriguez - Bloodrayne

Worst Screen Couple:
Tim Allen & Martin Short - Santa Clause 3
Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit - Wicker Man
Hilary & Haylie Duff - Material Girls
Sharon Stone’s Lop-Sided Breasts - Basically, It Stinks, Too
Shawn Wayans & EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans - Little Man

Worst Remake or Rip-off:
Little Man (Rip-off of the 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon “Baby Buggy Bunny”)
Pink Panther
Poseidon
The Shaggy Dog Story
Wicker Man

Worst Prequel or Sequel:
Basic Instinct 2 (a.k.a. Basically, It Stinks, Too)
Big Momma’s House 2
Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties
Santa Clause 3
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Worst Director:
Uwe Boll - Bloodrayne
Michael Caton-Jones - Basic Instinct 2
Ron Howard - The Da Vinci Code
M. Night Shyamalan - Lady In The Water
Keenan Ivory Wayans - Little Man

Worst Screenplay:
Basically, It Stinks, Too
(Screenplay by Leora Barish & Henry Bean)
Bloodrayne
(Screenplay by Guinevere Turner, Based on the Video Game)
Lady In The Water
(Written by M. Night Shyamalan)
Little Man
(Written by Keenan Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Shawn Wayans)
Wicker Man
(Screenplay Adapted by Neil LaBute from a Screenplay by Anthony Schaffer)

Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment:
Deck The Halls
Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties
RV
Santa Clause 3
The Shaggy Dog

     And there you have it kids. Check out our CINECAST Tuesday night or Wednesday morning for more commentary on the 2006 Golden Rasberrie Awards.

     Maxim Magazine online has released what they consider to be “The Crappiest Christmas Movies” of all time. THIS IS NOT MY LIST! I’m just republishing it. Don’t blame or praise me. Write to them.

I’m not sure why they made a top 14 list, that seems like kind of a random number, but here ya go. Merry Christmas!

14) Jingle All the Way
13) How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey)
12) Home Alone
11) Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol
——–
10) Christmas with the Cranks
9) The Polar Express
8) Christmas Mountain: The Story of a Cowboy Angel
7) Scrooged
6) Benji’s Very Own Christmas Story
5) One Magic Christmas
4) Miracle on 34th Street (1994 version)
3) The Santa Clause 2
2) Surviving Christmas
1) It’s a Wonderful Life

And THAT, dear readers, is why I do not subscribe to Maxim Magazine.

     Who doesn’t love Hilary Swank? She’s one of my favorite current working actresses; probably in my top three. A beautiful woman who is a two-time Academy Award winner and has been nominated and won countless awards by literally dozens of other prestigious critics, societies and festivals including The Golden Globes. I pretty much love everything she’s been in; or at least loved her role in everything she’s been in; really the only saving grace in The Black Dahlia. Simply put, she rules.

     Her next project being released? Freedom Writers. It’s a story about a white woman who takes over as a new teacher in an urban high school and teaches the kids that there is more to life than gangs and drugs. Wow. How original! I’ve never even heard of a movie like this before.

     Her response? A bloodthirsty tale about various plagues that strike midwest America called “The Reaping.” It actually looks pretty good and original. Stay the course Hilary. Stay the course.

     Meanwhile, the single greatest Hollywood actor working today, Paul Giamatti (yes, I said it - the man is brilliant in everything…EVERYTHING), will be playing Santa Claus in Fred Claus. A story of Santa Claus and his brother Fred; played by none other than Vince Vaughn. How great is this? Along with Michael Higgins Clark, Kevin Spacey, Rachel Wiesz and other great names, how can next year’s holiday season get any better? Seriously. Take a look at this clip and tell me how wonderful the world is.

     Let the geek-out continue. The year was 1998. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace was fast approaching. I was preparing my schedule to wait in line for what was supposed to become the be-all/end-all to my very existence. Little did I know, that four friends were already in a battle to see the film before anyone else by sneaking into Skywalker Ranch for themselves. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Fanboys:

“NOBODY CALLS HAN SOLO A DIRT BAG!” God damn right!

     Bottle Rocket starring Luke and Owen Wilson is not only one of my favorite films of all time (#37 on my top 100), but it was also my first exposure to the Wilson boys and director Wes Anderson (Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums).  It has continued to be one of the joys in my life since that first viewing. It is one of the best, in my opinion, truly independent films ever made.

     At one of last year’s awards shows, the Wilsons presented an award for something or other and mentioned that tey got their start with a small 15 minute film entitled Bottle Rocket.  At the time I had no idea Bottle Rocket was originally a short film directed by Anderson and starring the same actors and characters.

     Thanks to TJ for sending me this link to that original short film.  It’s black and white,fairly low quality and hard to decipher everything that is being said, but here are the Wilsons and Wes Anderson in their very first collaboration…

“We’re glad you think it’s funny, Tom!

     Apparently PR stunts have taken a new leap forward and given a new meaning to the term, “counter-intelligence.” It seems the promoters for Mission: Impossible 3 decided a new stunt was necessary to get the word out about their film. Instead of the usual boring magazine covers and internet pop-ups, they’ve decided it might be fun to rig newspaper stands in Los Angeles and Ventura county with small mp3 devices that play the well-known Mission Impossible theme song everytime the newspaper machine is opened. Tom Cruise’s picture adonrns the front of the display, but the music is supposed to be a surprise as there is no warning it is going to play. Sounds kinda cool right?

     Well, some of us seem to have forgetten that we live in a post 9/11 world and that strange wires and small boxes attached to things in a public area can sometimes be misconstrued as things other than a digital music device. Here are some exceprts about the story from the L.A. Times. Thanks to Big Scott for pointing me to the article:

     “One newspaper buyer saw the device and switch, thought it was a bomb and called authorities. After an inspection of the newspaper rack could not determine whether the device was explosive, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department bomb squad blew up the newspaper rack.”     ”Authorities received numerous reports of other L.A. Times news racks containing what callers believed to be bombs. Perhaps the most serious was in West Los Angeles, where as many as 300 people, including some 50 patients, were evacuated from the Veterans Affairs Administration’s Ambulatory Care Center. A newspaper buyer had reported a suspicious object in the news rack inside the main hospital building.”

     Aside from the people who needed medical assistance and didn’t get the surgery they were supposed to have, or other medical complications, I find this story hilarious. I don’t blame the people who called law enforcement one bit. I would’ve done the exact same thing in their position. A newspaper machine with red and black wires running around the back side attached to an activation switch? Uh, yeah. Way to think things through there Paramount. Keep up the good work. Maybe I don’t want to be linked from your home page afterall.

~ Drewbacca
MoviePatron.com