I‘ve copied this from: http://www.timewarptv.com. I’d suggest heading over to it so you can check out some of the other Star Wars stuff they’ve got.

     The Donny & Marie Star Wars skit begins with footage of two Imperial star destroyers and the Millenium Falcon (actual film footage), spliced with cheap matte painting of planets (very non-Star Wars like). The scene fades and an opening crawl (as in the movies) begins;

Tony The Tiger sound-alike - “A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY, THERE WAS AN EVIL FORCE AT WORK TO DESTROY THE VALUES BY WHICH DECENT PEOPLE LIVED. VALUES LIKE PATRIOTISM, CLEANLINESS, THRIFT AND GOOD DENTAL HYGIENE. DID THE EVIL FORCE WIN THE BATTLE? THAT’S FOR US TO KNOW AND YOU TO FIND OUT.”

Luke and Leia, apparently running from something, enter stage-left.

Luke(singing) “Princess Leia our goose is cooked unless we lift off of this star.”

Leia (singing) “Luke I know you’re right, but we’ve got to hang five before they find out where we are.”

Both “Darth will keep searching up and down, until they find our hiding place. Before very long, they’ll know we’re gone. We’ve got to get lost in space. Riders to the stars, we are flying, we are falling and I can see the clouds rolling by, Riders to the stars we are sailing we are soaring. The only thing we can do is try to get the first available flight out of sight… We are Riders to the stars!”

Luke “Oh, look!”

R2-D2 and C-3PO enter from where Luke and Leia had just come running. R2-D2 is beeping wildly and C-3PO does his best to run to Luke and Leia.

Leia(Gasping) “Oh! Oh, You made it!”

Threepio(glaring down at Artoo, who is still beeping insanely) “Certainly not, that would never work!”

Leia(looking at Luke) “Oh, I wish Okey Ben Pinocchi was here!”

Luke “Yeah, he’d tell us what to do.”

Above the quartet of heroes, appears the head of the ghost of Okey Ben Pinocchi. He stares down upon them.

Pinocchi “I’ll tell you what to do! Why don’t you look over there? It’s your chance for escape.”

Leia(turning and pointing) “Oh, look over there! It’s our chance for escape!”

Pinocchi(somewhat annoyed) “I knew I heard it somewhere.”

Luke(walks in the direction in which Leia pointed) “Hey taxi!”

Standing to the far right of the stage is a man who attempts to bear some resemblance to Han Solo, however, he is standing in the doorway of a cardboard rocket ship, complete with fins, a ramp, a helmet that looks like something the original Mercury astronauts wore, and cheap sunglasses.

Artoo(low muttering beeps.)

Threepio(to Luke) “Pardon me sir, but that’s not a taxi. It’s a spaceship. But that’s exactly what we need.”

Luke, Leia, and Threepio approach the spaceship. Han remains motionless, leaning on the doorway of his craft.

Threepio(tapping Han on the arm) “Excuse me, sir.”

Slow to react, he removes his sunglasses as if he just awoke from a nap(or a drunken stupor), and looks down at Threepio.

Han “What can I do for you?”

Threepio(looking over to Luke and Leia) “Perhaps you two can explain?”

Luke and Leia look at each other and nod. Both begin to sing.

Both “Show us the way to get out of this world, for that’s where everything is. If everything is going, I don’t want to stay here. Who want’s to stick around and watch the world disappear?”

Leia(dancing towards Artoo) “His transistors are in trouble and his chips are weak.”

Luke(catching up with Leia) “And if we stay our chances for survival are bleak.”

Both “So show us the way to get out of this world, for that’s where everything is!”

Leia(running back to Han) “Can you help us escape?”

Han “If I can’t, I know someone who can!”

Han attempts a really sad attempt at a whistle, and from behind him, in the darkened spaceship emerges Chewbacca, the Wookie. Leia and Threepio retreat in surprise and fear, hiding behind our fearless R2-D2 unit. Han laughs maniacally as he delights in seeing everyone’s fear.

Han (singing) “Hey, hey, hey, hey!”… what follows is some of the worst, most indiscernible music and lyrics I’ve ever heard. Even after multiple viewing, I still couldn’t make out but a few words. I’ll spare you the gory details. Han, Chewbacca, Threepio, Luke and Leia all climb aboard the cardboard ship.

Everyone(waving) “BYE!”

The door slams shut. The spirit of Okey Ben Pinocchi appears again, over the now empty courtyard.

Pinocchi “You know, things are changing out here in space. I come from a distant planet called Sanford. My planet has it’s own moon, it’s own stars and it’s own galaxy… but this year, Sanford has no SON!”

The scene changes to view of our heroes escaping in their… uh… Saturn 5 rocket. Yeah, they actually used footage of a Saturn 5 rocket. The camera pulls back revealing that the rocket is actually on a view-screen of an Imperial Officer(Paul Lynde). Behind him march Stormtrooper babes(Ice Angel dancers in white nylons and motorcycle helmets… no kidding).

Officer(singing) “Hear my voice, where you are. Hop a plane. Grab a car. On a cloud. On a star. Come back to me! Have you gone to the moon? On a lushly lagoon? On a cosmic monsoon? What’s your course?!? Where the Force, can you be! Come back to me! Come back to me! Come back to me!”

The music ends, and the Imperial Officer is surrounded by twelve stormtrooper babes all laughing and pointing him.

Officer “I didn’t expect a standing ovation, but what’s so funny?”

Darth Vader enters from the left, at a quickened pace.

Vader(pointing at the Imperial officer) “You, you intergalactic fool! You’ll never get them back that way!”

Officer “I suppose you have a better plan?”

Vader “No plan at all, just a little Force.”

The scene cuts to the Imperial Officer and Vader watching the viewscreen. On the screen is footage of a Saturn 5 rocket taking off, run backwards!

Officer “Ah ha! You see, they’ve come back!”

Vader “They had no choice”

The scene cuts to the courtyard. Smoke billows from under the cardboard cutout rocket. The door drops and out walks out heros.

Han (proudly) “How about it? Was that a perfect landing?”

Threepio “That’s not what we need”

Leia “But you landed on the same planet.”

Han “But the landing part was perfect.”

Luke “I knew we should have taken a cab!”

To the left of the courtyard, two doors burst open and quartet of real Stormtroopers enter. They begin to sing and dance and are joined by the Stormtrooper babes, as they all surround our heros in an orgy of bad song and dance.

Stormtroopers(singing) “We’re Darth Vader’s raiders and we can’t believe the things that you do. We never met a troupe that play hide and seek the way that you do. But Fe Fi Foe Fum, look out people cause here we come. We know just what to do with you, so get ready, get ready! Cause you’re though when we’re through with you, so get ready, get ready. Here we come!

Stormtrooper Babes(chorus) “Get ready, cause here we come! Get ready, cause here we come! Get ready, get ready! Get ready, cause here we come! Get ready, cause here we come! Gotcha!”

Our heros are now completely surrounded by Stormtroopers. From the left, Darth Vader and the Imperial Officer stroll in.

Officer “You thought you’d get away? Don’t you know you’ll never escape from The Farce?”

Vader “That’s The Force!”

Officer(to Vader) “Oh, don’t bother me with grammer at a time like this!”

While the Imperial Officer is still scolding Vader, Chewbacca grabs him by the shoulders and neck.

Officer “Get your big ape hands off me!”

Vader raises his hand, as if he plans to choke someone, then retreats.

Vader “You’ll never capture me! And I vow by the power of my Force, I shall return”

The scene fades back to Okey Ben Pinocchi.

Pinocchi “The Force can’t touch me. I come from a planet 10 million light years away. Uh, shorter if the lights are with you.”

The scene fades back to the courtyard. The Imperial Officer is still held captive my Chewbacca.

Officer(yelling to a departed Vader) “Well, where does that leave me Mr. Ungrateful!”

Chewbacca pulls the Imperial Officer into the cardboard ship.

Everyone(singing, including the reformed stormtroopers) “You’re leaving on a jet plane, Don’t know when you’ll be back again!”

The ship door slams shut and everyone cheers again, including the Stormtroopers and Stormtrooper Babes.

Leia “Thank you all, your princess is safe at last. Your work is finished.”

Artoo (sighs with relief)

Threepio “Yes Artoo…”

Everyone(singing & dancing) “Up we go, into the wild blue yonder, striding high into the sky… Riders to the stars, we are flying, we are falling and I can see the clouds rolling away. Riders to the stars we are sailing we are soaring into a brand new brighter day. We are riders to the stars!”

Pinocchi “Can you imagine trying to find your luggage when this trip ends?”

The screen fades to a star field. The helmet of Darth Vader appears and disolves into a shot of the Millenium Falcon zooming away.

Vader “I vow by the power of my Force, I shall return.”

THE END

     I wrote this for my own site and my personal blog for today, but thought I would share it here too, since it’s obviously fitting.

     Star Wars: some of the greatest movies of all time that spawned some of the greatest video games of all time. Of course, there have been dozens upon dozens of games based on these movies and as expected, plenty of them range from mediocre to just plain terrible. One of those terrible ones that come to mind was the MMORPG Star Wars Galaxies. The extremity of the excitement I had for this game was only overshadowed by my severe disappointment after finally playing it. I tried to convince myself that it was enjoyable and wasn’t a waste of the $50 plus the $15 per month I paid, but I was only kidding myself. It was horrible - and soon even the most hardcore of Star Wars fans realized this as well and Galaxies merely faded in oblivion; now, only a few extremely dedicated (or just really delusional) people are still playing the game, but there are faint rumors that a Knights of the Old Republic MMORPG may be in the works and maybe, just maybe, it will help freshen the bad taste that Galaxies left in my mouth (honestly, I haven’t touched an MMORPG since). Read on though, and find out some of the Star Wars games that weren’t massive disappointments and kept me playing for hours upon hours not so long ago, in a basement not too far away… from my parents’ room.

8. Star Wars: Empire at War (2006; PC)
Combine elements of Age of Empires and Starcraft with the Star Wars universe and you have yourself an insanely addictive game. Play as the Rebels or the Empire and skirmish in space or on land. It’s a little repetitive at times maybe, as most RTS games are, but that doesn’t take away from the great Star Wars experience that this is.

7. Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (1996; N64)
Coming out shortly after the launch of the Nintendo 64, this game focused on the time period between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. You played as mercenary Dash Rendar and the main jist of the story was trying to help Luke Skywalker rescue Princess Leia from the evil Prince Xizor. It has a lot of familiar faces, and while the story isn’t anything special now that I take a step back and think about it, to the child that I still was, it was an amazingly cinematic experience and was just as good as any of the movies (and still, it’s better than the first two prequels anyway).

6. Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy (2003; PC, Xbox)
The story was pretty lame and it hurt that you no longer played as the franchise character Kyle Katarn but a new student into the Academy. Still, the game - most notably the insanely fun multiplayer - was a blast and the lightsaber dueling and force battling was incomparable. Getting a dozen friends together to multiplayer this game up was as fun as any Halo or Age of Empires shindig, and this made the game worthwhile and easily worth the money.

5. Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1994; SNES)
I couldn’t decide which of the three Super Star Wars games to put on here, but in the end, I feel this was the most fun (and probably the hardest) of the three. While the game really isn’t much like the movie (see the NES games for ones that are even less like the movies), it was a lot of fun to play as Luke, Chewie, or an Ewok and jumping around killing various beasts that were never in the movies and dying most of the time. It’s still stands up as a fun game and every few months I get out my SNES, dust it off, and play it a little bit - just for old times sake… and a serious challenge.

4. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (2004; Xbox, PC)
The story wasn’t as good as the first game, but the gameplay was just as good. In fact, it was almost identical to the first. It was more like a 50-hour, huge expansion pack to the first game than anything else - which wasn’t really a problem, since the awesomeness of the first game still hasn’t been surpassed. This game was loads of fun, was packed with content and entertainment, and was more addictive than crack. If you’d like to become a Star Wars junky along with the rest of us, you can purchase this game for $10 used on Amazon!

3. Star Wars: Dark Forces (1995; PC)
I was about nine or ten years old when this came out and I remember I had never experienced anything quite like it. It felt so real. The graphics felt so life-like. After this, I no longer felt the need to play Doom or Wolfenstein 3D, because in my ten year old mind, this surpassed them both. It introduced us to Kyle Katarn, a former Imperial agent and now a mercenary (and eventual Jedi in later games), around the times of A New Hope. While it wasn’t nearly as revolutionary as Doom or Wolfenstein 3D, the fun factor was equal, and for a huge Star Wars fan like myself, it may have been even a little more fun.

2. Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (2002; PC, Xbox, GameCube)
To me, this is unarguably the best of the Kyle Katarn saga. It starts with Kyle who has given up on the force and his Jedi ways. Thus, the game begins as an exciting first-person shooter (much like the first game was entirely), for all Kyle uses is guns. A handful of levels into the game though, Kyle realizes if he doesn’t rekindle his ways with the Force and the Jedi, all hope may be lost, and this is when the amazement and the story of the game really kick in. This is the most fun you’ll ever have with a lightsaber (there’s a multiplayer aspect too, which is just as fun) - and the force powers are just as great to boot. You’ll never get tired of force pushing Storm Troopers off of cliffs. I promise.

1. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003; Xbox, PC)
Not only is this the best Star Wars game, it has a cinematic element and story that matches the greatness of the original trilogy. Some even argue that it’s more exciting and that some of the revelations match that of the “No, I am your father” moment from The Empire Strikes Back. I wouldn’t argue. The blend of RPG with action-game elements, the ability to make an insane amount of choices that changed the story, choosing the light or dark side, along with the amazingly well-written story and developed characters makes for one of the most rewarding gaming experiences ever. It really is that good. If you haven’t played it, you can buy it used on Amazon for the PC for under $10, so there is no excuse! A third game in the franchise is (sadly) yet to be announced, but let’s hope within the next few weeks and once Bioware has finished its current game, we might get some sort of news.

     That’s my list and I’m sticking to it. There are dozens more games out there, many that I haven’t even played, so there is no question I probably didn’t include a favorite of yours. So, which Star Wars game is your favorite and why?

-Jonathan

Source: Wikipedia.com

     According to Lucas, the film was inspired by numerous sources, such as Beowulf and King Arthur for the origins of myth and world religions.^[1] Lucas originally wanted to rely heavily on 1930s Flash Gordon film serials; however, Lucas resorted to Akira Kurosawa’s film The Hidden Fortress and Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces because of copyright issues with Flash Gordon. The scene in which Princess Leia awards Han and Luke is similar to a scene in Leni Riefenstahl’s 1934 film Triumph of the Will; both scenes have large, enthusiastic crowds seated in a shallow amphitheater bounded by columns, with a low dais where the leader stands.

The throne room of the Massassi Temple in Star Wars

     A similar shot from Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the WillStar Wars features several parallels to Flash Gordon, such as the conflict between Rebels and Imperial Forces, the “soft wipes” between scenes, and the famous “opening crawl” that begins each film. A concept borrowed from Flash Gordon — a fusion of futuristic technology and traditional magic — was originally developed by one of the founders of science fiction, H.G. Wells. Wells believed the Industrial Revolution had quietly destroyed the idea that fairy-tale magic might be real. Thus, he found that plausibility was required to allow myth to work properly, and substituted elements of the Industrial Era: time machines instead of magic carpets, Martians instead of dragons, and scientists instead of wizards. Wells called his new genre “scientific fantasia“.Star Wars was influenced by the 1958 Kurosawa film The Hidden Fortress; for instance, the two bickering peasants evolved into C-3PO and R2-D2, and a Japanese family crest seen in the film is similar to the Imperial Crest. Star Wars borrows heavily from another Kurosawa film, Yojimbo. In both films, several men threaten the hero, bragging how wanted they are by authorities. The situation ends with an arm being cut off by a blade. Mifune is offered “twenty-five ryo now, twenty-five when you complete the mission.” whereas Han Solo is offered “Two thousand now, plus fifteen when we reach Alderaan.” Lucas’ affection for Kurosawa may have influenced his decision to visit Japan in the early 1970s, where he borrowed the name “Jedi” from jidaigeki (which in English means “period dramas”, and refers to films typically featuring samurai). Lucas drew inspiration from J. R. R. Tolkien’s fantasy book The Lord of the Rings, in that Obi-Wan Kenobi is the Wizard Gandalf reincarnate, albeit in differing fashions, and Darth Vader and the Witch-king of Angmar are the chief servants of a higher evil power and dress in black. Luke watches the duel of Obi-Wan and Vader from across a chasm as Frodo witnessed the duel between Gandalf and the Balrog; both feature their respective blue and red melee weapons. Tatooine is similar to Arrakis from Frank Herbert’s book Dune. Arrakis is the only known source of a longevity drug called the Spice Melange; Han Solo is a spice smuggler who has been through the spice mines of Kessel. Lucas’ original concept of the film dealt heavily with the transport of spice, although the nature of the material remained unexplored. In the conversation at Obi-Wan Kenobi’s home between Obi-Wan and Luke, Luke expresses a belief that his father was a navigator on a spice freighter. Other similarities include those between Princess Leia and Princess Alia (pronounced [ə.ˈliː.ə]), and between Jedi mind tricks and “The Voice”, a controlling ability used by Bene Gesserit. In passing, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are “Moisture Farmers”; in Dune, Dew Collectors are used by Fremen to “provide a small but reliable source of water”.There are subtle parallels to the Japanese serial Space Cruiser Yamato (Star Blazers); both Wildstar and Skywalker are young and hot-headed but grow into mature leaders; Captain Avatar and Obi-Wan each portray the wizened old warrior; the similarities between R2-D2 and IQ-9 are unmistakable. Additionally, in both stories the heroes fly fighter plane-type spacecraft; the Death Star and the Comet Empire perform similar functions and the chief villains (Darth Vader and Desslok) meet similar fates.The Death Star assault scene was modeled after the 1950s movie The Dam Busters, in which Royal Air Force Lancaster bombers fly along heavily defended reservoirs and aim “bouncing bombs” at their man-made dams to cripple the heavy industry of the Ruhr. Some of the dialogue in The Dam Busters is repeated in the A New Hope climax; Gilbert Taylor also filmed the special effects sequences in The Dam Busters. In addition, the sequence was partially inspired by the climax of the film 633 Squadron directed by Walter Grauman.

     The opening shot of Star Wars, in which a detailed spaceship fills the screen overhead, is a nod to the scene introducing the interplanetary spacecraft Discovery One in Stanley Kubrick’s seminal 1968 film 2001: A Space Odyssey. The earlier big-budget science fiction film influenced the look of A New Hope in many other ways, including the use of EVA pods, hexagonal corridors, and primitive computer graphics. The orbiting space station in 2001 has a docking bay reminiscent of the one on the Death Star. The film also draws on The Wizard of Oz: similarities exist between Jawas and Munchkins, the main characters disguise themselves as enemy soldiers, and Obi-Wan dies, leaving only his empty robe in the same fashion as the Wicked Witch of the West. Although golden and male, C-3PO is inspired by the robot Maria from Fritz Lang’s 1927 film Metropolis. His whirring sounds were speculated to be inspired by the clanking noises of the Tin Woodsman in The Wizard of Oz.

     Since Andrew and Kurt did THEIR list on the Movie Patron Cinecast Episode #48 I thought I would do the same. So this is Star Wars according to MY standards!:

Rated, ranked and ordered:

 6. Revenge of the Sith (No rating) - As much as I HATED the number five film  on my list I HAVE to put this dead last because I simply haven’t seen it yet. So until I get around to it it stays firmly at the bottom.

5. Attack of the Clones (1/5) - I don’t remember all that much about this but I just remember HATING everything about it.

4. The Phantom Menace (2/5)- I put this first with regards to the new trilogy for one reason and one reason ONLY. Two words; Darth Maul. My favourite character out of ALL the Star Wars films (except for Han Solo, of course).

3. Return of the Jedi (3/5)- By FAR my least favourite of the original trilogy. I don’t what it is by I just have a big problem with this film. It’s pretty good, but not THAT good. Sorry folks…

2. Empire Strikes Back (4/5) - It probably has a lot to do with the shocking revelation at the end. Although, and this may shock you, I didn’t see the original trilogy until recently, EVERYONE knows the twist ending it still shocks you. “It can’t be true!”

1. A New Hope (4/5) - By FAR my favourite of the six. Possibly because I like the more story element that is very predominant in this one more than the others.

     In a Galaxy not so far away, a man named George Lucas released his little known art film called Star Wars to the world and changed the way movies are made forever. It was the first film I ever saw in a theater and it has been my favorite film of all time ever since. I still watch the original (episode IV) about once a month or so and it is absolutely brilliant on every level, every time I watch it.

     All you have to do is imagine yourself as a 10 year old kid in a theater in 1977 (I actually saw it when I was 4 when it was rereleased in late 1979); not having any idea of what you’re about to see. All of a sudden, an explosion of music hits the screen with a smattering of stars as the backdrop for those famous yellow words that slowly drift into the infinite distance. Then, out of nowhere, a small space ship flies overhead being fired upon by… another ship a much larger ship. Already your jaw is wide open. Then, this larger ship flies over your head and the sheer size of the thing keeps going on and on and on and on and on. By now, your jaw is on the floor and your eyes are practically popping out of your head. “Holy Crap!!” You vaguely hear your friend next to you say over the laser blasts and heaving, blue flame engines and explosions. From then on, you’re hooked.

     After this was the marketing. Toys galore. I remember opening Christmas presents one year and in every single package (even if it was stupid old socks), there was a different Star Wars figure at the bottom of the box. It was awesome and I remember it being one of the best Christmases ever. I remember my sister spraying me with the garden hose while I was wearing my brand new Return of the Jedi shirt. I raced into the house in traumatic tears thinking she’d ruined it forever… haha. My mom once punished me for something (who cares what) by not letting me watch Star Wars for the umpteenth time one night when it was on cable. I cried myself to sleep.

     Then, of course, were the sequels and the prequels. I took a week off from school and waited in line for tickets to see Episode I; a month in advance. I then waited in line for another week for our seats (which I believe happened to be over spring break, so I didn’t miss more school). It was so much fun. I remember being so excited to get there, I was driving a bit fast. A cop pulled me over in a small town and asked where I was going in such a hurry. I explained about Star Wars and getting in line, etc. He said, “well, you don’t want to be late for that. I’m taking my son to see that when it opens. If I need tickets, can I call you?” I laughed and said sure and he let me on my way with only a warning. Then it was rows of tents, lots of new friends and it rained to beat the band for pretty much the entire week. Our “leader” built a make-shift movie screen out of 2×4s and a bed sheet, then used his F-150 truck to power a projector to show Star Wars (and other films) every night. We became the subject of much interest from other Movie Patrons as they strolled in to see Entrapment or The Matrix. we also took abuse from some passers-by, but also made the local news just about everyday. Football and beer in the parking lot, NTN Star Wars trivia at the bar on the corner (we came in 3rd in the nation all week). A blast.

     As I’ve gotten older, my love for the films has not waned. But my love for the extraneous stuff has a bit. I’m not as fond of my boxes of memorabilia that take up space in my apartment as I once was. The books are seeming to really reach for ideas and the prequels were… well, less than amazing. The new TV shows (one CG-animated and one live action) have piqued my interest. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit excited, but I also feel GL should leave the franchise alone. It’s become his life (and others of us as well) and it really shouldn’t. He should move on.

      Still, we’ll remember what George has created and given the world: the finest reel of celluloid the world has ever known called The Star Wars Trilogy. I remember being genuinely choked up a bit when I first saw the trailers that told us the originals were to be re-released in theaters back in the late 90s. I waited in line all day for those as well. I also remember seeing the Episode 1 trailer online for the first time. Even though the film itself isn’t the greatest, I still think it is easily my favorite trailer of all time and watch it agin from time to time. The excitement it brought (and stills does to an extent) is indescribable. Thanks George - you’re probably the biggest reason why I even have a movie web site and watch as much film as I do. Happy Anniversary Star Wars and may the force be with you… always.

     What comes to my mind when someone mentions “Star Wars”?

     The first thing that would pop up is the theme song trumpeting triumphantly in my brain.

     The next thing would be how “Star Wars” reigned supreme in my family for years.  In some ways it still does, thus I’m posting here.

     Thirdly, because one member of my family has been totally and completely addicted to anything even remotely related to SW since the first time he saw the first SW movie, it became a part of our family life.  I think it might have been the first movie, EVER, for him.  He was four, and we sat in that theater, not watching the movie, but just watching his reactions to everything he saw and heard.  He was kind of a “hyper” kid most of the time, but I don’t think he moved once during that whole film.  He just sat on the edge of his seat, immobile and mesmerized, with his mouth and eyes locked open for the duration.  I wonder if he even blinked.  That night was monumental for him and for his whole family, for it began a two-and-a-half-decade obsession with “Star Wars” and everything that SW entails - from George Lucas, to the spectacular and breathtaking special effects, to the gloriously magnificent music with leitmotifs for various characters and objects, to the brilliantly creative characters (and the actors who portrayed them) to . . . . . . . . . . everything.

     Who ever would have thought that Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Chewbacca (and Wookies), R2-D2 and C-3PO, Ewoks, lightsaber, Han Solo-Luke Skywalker-Princess Leia, Yoda, Jedi Knights (and on and on and on) would become household words, familiar to almost everyone?  Only because of events that happened “A long time ago in a galaxy, far far away. . . . .”

Happy Birthday Star Wars!

     I‘m sure you’ve all seen the picture floating around of Heath Ledger as the Joker (if not click the thumbnail to the left for the full size image). I’m also sure you heard that Anthony Michael Hall is going to be in The Dark Knight also but as what character is a secret (my guess is the Riddler in the third or fourth movie). I’m also sure you have all seen the Harvey Dent picture. What I’m not sure is that you have seen the message from someone who I can only guess is the Joker. I removed all the Cascading Styles from the error page over at www.ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com/ and I found the following message. Just so you know this is the actual hidden text off the page. I’m not making it up and this isn’t a joke by me or anything. You can check it out behind the spoiler link.

I’m not fully sure what it all means. Feel free to give your opinions in the comments.

UNWRAP TEXT or SHOW **SPOILER**

Episode #48 is here and Kurt gets the “good” microphone this week.

 Episode 48 [119:10m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

In this episode, Andrew and Kurt discuss:

-DVD picks of the week
-Worst and best films from 5 household name directors
-Star Wars nostalgia talk
…and the usual tangents. - see the show notes below for info on the director’s cut of this extremely long podcast.

Unwrap the complete Show Notes by clicking on this link…
UNWRAP TEXT or SHOW **SPOILER**

These are the show notes for Cinecast Episode #48.

NOTICE: Kurt and I felt that this show became FAR too bloviating and long. So we’ve trimmed down our rants to a slightly more comfortable 2 hours. For those of you (cough** Ross **cough) that would like the director’s cut of well over 2 1/2 hours, you can download that show HERE (which is also available on the iTunes subscription page

     In the show notes, topics we discussed in the director’s cut (that are edited out of the normal show) will be in a grey color.
Remember, if you’d like to hear these topics, download the director’s cut.

Bumper music from Oceansize and Squirrel Nut Zippers.

“Tracks” - -
Intro Music: 0:00 - 3:20
Opening Remarks/Announcements: 0:23 - 5:49
DVD Picks: 5:50 - 19:50
Best of/Worst of from 5 Top directors: 19:51 - 1:27:36
Star Wars nostalgia talk: 1:27:37 - 1:55:36
Closing Comments: 1:55:37 - 1:58:43
Outro Music: 1:56:33 - 1:59:11

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In-House Announcements:

     Join us on Facebook: Much cleaner and nicer than MySpace and easy to keep in touch. A lot more fun too as more people join everyday. HERE’S the link to our group - NOTE: Facebook will ask you to login or start an account to use this feature.

     You can post suggestions, comments, thoughts, even questions or topics you’d like discussed on the weekly Cinecast right here on the blog in the comments section. You can also now leave audio comments. Damn cool; leave as many as you like.

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DVD Picks of the Week:

Andrew picks Apocalypto:
Andrew’s Review
Blockbuster
Netflix

Kurt picks The Third Man:
Blockbuster
Netflix

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Other DVDs this week:
Roots (4 Disc sp. ed.)
Letters from Iwo Jima
Flags of Our Fathers
Venus
Epic Movie
Fay Grim

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Big Name Directors and their Best of/Worst of:

Andrew’s Picks…
Roman Polanski
- - Best: The Pianist
- - Worst: don’t have one (maybe The Ninth Gate)
Ridley Scott
- - Best: Blade Runner, Black Hawk Down
- - Worst: Kingdom of Heaven and oh yeah, Hannibal sucks too
- - - when I mention American Gangster, I meant Denzel is the ANtagonist. Not the PROtagonist.
Oliver Stone
- - Best: JFK
- - Worst: Alexander
Steven Spielberg
- - Best: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Saving Private Ryan
- - Worst: War of the Worlds
Stanley Kubrick
- - Best: A Clockwork Orange
- - Least favorite: Spartacus

Andrew’s 3 most recognizable Music Scores:
Jaws, Star Wars Main Theme, Superman

Kurt’s Picks…
Roman Polanski
- - Best: Chinatown - 2nd place: Death and the Maiden
- - Worst: The Fearless Vampire Killers or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth are in my Neck
Ridley Scott
- - Best: Blade Runner, Alien
- - Worst: Hannibal
Oliver Stone
- - Best: Talk Radio
- - Worst: Any Given Sunday
Steven Spielberg
- - Best: Jaws
- - Worst: A.I. (Artificial Intelligence)
Stanley Kubrick
- - Best: Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- - Least favorite: Spartacus

Kurt’s 3 most recognizable Music Scores:
Jaws, The Good The Bad and The Ugly (great choice say I), The Emperor’s March (Empire Strikes Back)

Bottom 5 Directors Who have wasted Julianne Moore:
Steven Spielberg - The Lost Word
Ivan Reitman - Evolution
Ridley Scott - Hannibal
Gus Van Sant - Psycho (his shot-by-shot remake)
Richard Donner - Assassins

Top 5 Directors who let Julianne Moore shine:
Robert Altman - Short Cuts
The Coen’s - The Big Lebowski
Todd Haynes - Safe (also Far From Heaven)
P.T. Anderson - Boogie Nights (also Magnolia)
Alfonso Cuaron - Children of Men

Upcoming DVD set of Blade Runner - super special edition:

films discussed briefly in our director’s cut: Death and the Maiden, A Good Year, Natural Born Killers, Jurassic Park: The Lost World, Saving Private Ryan, Open Range, Full Metal Jacket

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Star Wars 30th Anniversary:

Stop back to the Blog Friday for the Star Wars Blog-a-thon and POST YOUR OWN ARTICLE!

Andrew Ranks:
A New Hope (5/5)
Return of the Jedi (4.5/5)
Empire Strikes Back (4.5/5)
Revenge of the Sith (4/5)
Attack of the Clones (3.5/5)
The Phantom Menace (2.5/5)

Kurt Ranks:
Empire (5/5)
Starwars (4/5)
Attack of the Clones (3/5)
Return of the Jedi (2.5/5)
The Phantom Menace (1/5)
Revenge of the Sith (0.5/5) - WRONG

Andrew’s VERY LONG and comprehensive review of Revenge of the Sith

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Todd (founder/editor of Twitchfilm.net) at Cannes

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This Week’s Homework:

Rest yourself before listening to this complete Cinecast

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Comments or questions?
feedback@moviepatron.com (general)
andrew@moviepatron.com
kurt@moviepatron.com
- - Kurt’s BLOG - This week, the fantastic “unusual, Aussie” western, The Proposition

In honor of the 30th Anniversary I present to you a really long list of stuff. I found it here.

1. Never trust men in dark helmets.
2. It really isn’t necessary to be fluent in over 6 million forms of communication.
3. Get some travel information before heading off to a place that you have never even heard of.
4. When all else fails….jump!
5. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal.
6. If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you.
7. Always check the background of people you want to get intimately involved with, they may be your relatives.
8. You may have family members in surprisingly high positions.
9. Before you kill someone make sure they aren’t your father.
10. Watch out for Corellian freighters diving out of the sun.

A whole bunch more below included in the spoiler.

UNWRAP TEXT or SHOW **SPOILER**

     Speaking of Star Wars, I know this is kind of OFN, but it’s been updated and still makes me laugh.

**EXPLICIT**

C-3PO:
“Oh… my… goodness gracious me.
I’m a gay man’s golden fantasy.
Programmed for Homo-ecstacy…
10 million forms of gay positioning.
For my golden shower you must pay a fee…
but R2-D2 gives it up for free.”

Yes, I’m an immature child.

     In keeping with our Star Wars theme over the weekend (the 30th Anniversary of the greatest film of all time is on Friday - check back then for our thoughts and remembrances as part of the great Star Wars Blog-a-thon), here are some images of the toys Kenner rejected from the Lucasfilm merchandising department from MCmoran.org via Filmrot. I can’t figure out why they were rejected; I’d love to play with the force for a little while in my backyard…

click unwrap to see more toys…

UNWRAP TEXT or SHOW **SPOILER**

I guess this is movie news since I believe Paris Hilton has been in at least one thing that could kinda be considered a movie. Motley Crue has decided to throw their might in getting Paris Hilton to serve her whole sentence for Drinking and Driving. I normally don’t care about this type of stuff but it just amuses the hell out of me so here is what the Crue have to say about Hilton.

Why is the NY Times wasting space talking about Paris Hilton’s petition to keep her out of jail for drunk driving…twice! Join Nikki Sixx, The Exies and other artists in supporting real talent, not bitches like Paris.
Go to The Exies MySpace page, sign the petition to throw Paris in jail and tell the NY Times to support real artists, real musicians, real actors, not shitty porn stars.

     This was actually released a few days ago, but I wanted to wait for a YouTube version to post. And here it is. There is no way in hell that this is an actual trailer for general audiences because of the violence, but it’s still damn cool footage. I’m not a huge Rambo fan. The first film explores him as a character very well. The rest are unbelievable, action-packed nonsense. Fun? Maybe. Well done films? Hardly.

     So it’s difficult to say how this film will turn out, but it looks pretty damn violent and realistic. If it’s got some character and story depth to it, there could be something to this. I enjoyed Rocky Balboa (mp review) for what it was and I think Rambo 4 could be more of that. Check out the trailer below and leave your thoughts.

     According to Showbizdata.com, Toshiba is planning a major price reduction and some special incentives in late May and throughout June. The story goes like this:

     Toshiba intensified its high-definition-disk battle with Sony’s Blu-ray players by offering a month-long, instant $100 rebate on its own HD DVD players. The rebate brings down the price of a high-definition player to a record-low $299. In addition, Toshiba is offering to knock $100 off the price of any of its HDTV sets that are purchased with an HD DVD player. The company recently announced that buyers of its HD DVD players would also be able to select five free HDTV movies from a selection of fifteen. The promotion is set to launch on Sunday and continue until June 16.

     I’m still not sold on the whole HD thing anyway, so I won’t be purchasing until there is a clear cut winner and when it will make a difference on my TV set anyway. But still, I think Toshiba sees that it is losing this war and this is one of their last ditch attempts at regaining some ground.

     Once again, Cinema Fusion hooks us up with the news of the new Star Wars “cartoon” that is in production as we speak. The news is two-fold. One, Lucasfilm has released the first one-sheet advert for the series that shows us the general look of what the show will be like. And two, according to StarWars.com, it is announced that at Celebration IV in L.A., California, there will be a panel of producers and the director to give fans a “behind the scenes” look into what the show will offer us.

     Sounds exciting. I enjoyed the animated series of a few years back that took place between episodes two and three. It was a little too kid friendly, but it pieced the films together nicely with some further insight into Grievous and other shallow characters from the film. I didn’t realize this is to be CG-animation. By the looks of the poster it sort of looks like a cross between the realism of films like Final Fantasy and the toonishness of Toy Story. Of course, that’s just the poster; so who knows what the final product will look like.

     Guess I can’t run a movie site without posting this eh? You can see the new trailer for Transformers in…

     Thanks to Hector over at Cinema Fusion for the news and thanks to TheMovieBox for the various versions and download links (there are many more hi and med and lo res if you care to follow the link).

     So thoughts? My initial reaction is that it’s about time we get to see some actual transforming of the players involved. Starscream (I think that’s the Jet) looks pretty damn cool I have to admit. I think this will be a good time to be sure and likely one of the best of the big budget, SFX blockbusters this summer. I’m not expecting much and my anticipation is fairly minimal. Still, I do look forward to seeing what Michael Bay has done here. Judging by this new trailer, we’re probably in for a treat.

     If you have the time and a microphone, you can now attach upto a 30 second voice comment in the comments section of any post. It seems to work fine for me (I tested it and you can listen to an example in the comments section below).

Some instructions:

1) IMPORTANT - You have to include at least SOME text to attach the audio to your comment (don’t know why, but whatever). You can write a novel if you wish, or just type “audio” or your name or something.
2) In the comment area, just click on “Insert Audio Comment”
3) A java applet (neat little lady bug walking animation thingy) will appear.
4) Click record and you’ll see the counter start - start talking into your mic (speak fairly loudly and clearly)
5) Click “Stop” when you’re done with your comment.
6) Click “ATTACH AUDIO” - this is the part that takes a bit of time (a percentage indicator goes to tell you how far along you are in your upload)
7) Click “SUBMIT COMMENT”
8) Sit back in the knowledge that your voice will be heard by nearly 5 whole people in the next week. Wow!

Some requirements:

- Hi-speed internet service (not really a requirement, but with my DSL line it took about 2 minutes to upload a 30 second clip).
- A microphone. Go figure.
- Some clicking of “yes” and “run control” buttons. The first time I did this a pop-up came up and asked me if I wanted to run some active-x controls or whatever. Just click yes and it should work fine. You shouldn’t have to do that ever again I don’t think.
- Some patience. When you click record or post, it may seem like nothing is happening, but it is just thinking. Give it a second and something will work.
- If it doesn’t work for you, don’t email me. I likely have no idea what to do or how to fix it. I’m shocked I got it to work so easily as it is. However, if this is seriously messing up your computer maybe it isn’t something I want active on our blog quite yet, so let me know if that’s the case (andrew@moviepatron.com)
- 30 seconds are free to record and upload. I think there is a way to pay for more time if you want to; but I don’t think it would be worth it.

     That’s it. If you meet all those minor requirements, give it a whirl. Aside from the patience part, this is far easier than typing out ideas. Just remember, once it’s there, the whole world will be able to hear it. Oh yeah, this isn’t a kid’s site, so you can pretty much say whatever you want, but I will delete anything that is overly harsh or I just deem not OK in my opinion (talking about raping Nazis would be an example of something that IS okay).

     Have fun and give us your feedback on this new feature. So far I love it!

     Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are both under used in my opinion. They seem to be pigeon holed into close to the same type of characters always. I would love to see them each bridge out and do something truly different. Given that, I am still looking forward to Righteous Kill.

     indieWire has news about this huge independent  movie, by huge I mean a $60 million dollar budget. The plot revolves around two cops (De Niro and Pacino) chasing after a serial killer. The best quote from the producers is:

If a studio put together this, it would be a $100 million [movie] but we’re doing it for sixty,” he said. “We believe the independent world can do it more effectively, more cost-effective and with a heart… We feel like we’re making history.

     I don’t understand why any independent film would require $60 million but then again I have trouble understanding why the big blockbusters require $100+ million. No matter what though, it will be good to see both of them actually acting with each other for the majority of the movie as opposed to the limited shared screen time of Heat.