I did the usual top 10 movie post so I thought about doing the 10 worst movies but I’ve decided to switch it up a bit and do a list of movies I regret seeing. There are a lot of bad movies but I generally don’t regret seeing most of them. There is usally something in each of them that at least amuses me for a tiny bit. These movies dont have anything for me and I wish I had never gone through the experience of seeing them (other than the fact that it keeps me from seeing them now which I might be tempted to do).

In no particular order:

The Hills Have Eyes
I’ve never gotten around to see the original and now I likely never will. The whole movie I was sitting there wondering why I was watching this. Now don’t get me wrong I actually enjoyed Hostel. On some base level I even enjoyed a bit of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Hills Have Eyes did nothing for me and I actually want my time back. I guess the one good thing about seeing it is that I will never be tempted to see the sequel.

Battlefield Earth
I am (or at least used to be) an avid reader. I’ve read all of L.R. Hubbard’s Mission Earth Series, I’ve read Final Blackout and I’ve also read Battlefield Earth. Battlefield is actually a half decent science fiction novel. Given that I do not so much regret seeing this movie. What I regret is the fact that I didn’t realize how bad it was the first time I saw it. I ended up actually seeing it two times in theater. On my second time I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I don’t know what I was doing the first time that meant I did not notice how truly terrible this movie is.

Alpha Dog
The premise for Alpha Dog actually seemed fairly interesting. What I got was a movie in which I did not care anything at all for any of the characters. The main reason I regret seeing this though is for the simple fact that I knew going in I would pretty much hate it yet I still went.

The Hitcher
I actually saw The Hitcher remake the same night I saw Alpha Dog. For the latter I was kicking myself while buying the tickets for the former I was thinking “hey it has Sean Bean in, how bad can it be”. Little did I know it had the stupidest main characters. Everything they did was just plain idiotic. I actually felt dirty because of their poor choices.

Wild Wild West
All I have to say about this is why Kevin why and why Kenneth why? Your both good actors.

Never Ending Story II: The Next Chapter
I must have been at just the right age for the first Never Ending Story. I still have fond memories of the movie. Unfortunately I decided that I wanted to see the sequel when it came out. If it had just been me in the theater it wouldn’t have been something I regret but I dragged all my friends to see it. They still bring it up every so often when I suggest a movie. Oh and by the way I was 18 when the sequel came out.

I often wonder what my friends think of my movie tastes. I like a wide range of movies and I know a few of my friends also share my tastes. My current movie crew and I are heading out to see Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. I for one really enjoyed it the first time I saw it but I had also read the book. It is quite a dark quirky movie. For all that I enjoyed it though it is not a mass market type movie. I would love to get more of my friends to see this movie and many others. I’m just curious what their response will be on Thursday night.

The last time I dragged my friends out to a movie at the art house theatre here in town was Oldboy. I loved it but the majority of them were neutral even somewhat negative.

I’d love to hear from some of the readers of Movie Patron to find out what movies they love that they want their friends to see but are a bit worried about what their response will be.

     James Doohan, better known as Scotty on the popular TV and film versions of “Star Trek,” had his remains shot into space by a rocket on Saturday morning. But not really. According to the AP, a few grams of his ashes, along with those of about 200 more people were launched on a 20 foot rocket and blasted off into the atmosphere. But, since it was a “suborbital” flight, the rocket soon parachuted back to Earth safely a short time later.

     So what’s the point of this? If you’re going to have your ashes shot off into space, shouldn’t they travel the solar system and beyond? So these people paid nearly $500 to see the ashes fly into the air and come back. Whoop-de-do. I would expect better for someone who almost single handedly kept the engines on the USS Enterprise running for almost 40 years through galaxy to galaxy. Just seems odd to me. Here’s the full story over at Yahoo! news.

     Although I’m quite a few days late on this, better late than never right? Anyway, here’s the official one-sheet (which is a little too “yippee-skippee” for me, but I still like it) and screening schedule for The 60th Annual Cannes Film Festival — ooooh I wish I was going. With screenings of new films from Wong Kar-Wai, Kim Ki-Duk, The Coens and so many more I can hardly contain myself. Last year’s winner of the Palme d’Or, Wind that Shakes the Barley (MP review), finally hit American theaters but a month ago. So to know that I will have to wait that long again for this year’s crop of films and likely the winner, is unbearable. Enough of my rants. Without further ado, I give you the 2007 line-up for the biggest and most important film festival in the world, CANNES!

INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION JURY:
Stephen Frears, British director (president)
Marco Bellocchio, Italian director
Maggie Cheung, Hong Kong actress
Toni Collette, Australian actress
Maria De Medeiros, Portuguese actress
Orhan Pamuk, Turkish novelist
Michel Piccoli, French actor
Sarah Polley, Canadian actress
Abderrahmane Sissako, Mauritanian director

OPENER:
“My Blueberry Nights,” Hong Kong-France-China, Wong Kar Wai

CLOSER:
“The Age of Darkness,” Canada, Denys Arcand

IN COMPETITION:
“4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” Romania, Cristian Mungiu
“Alexandra,” Russia, Alexander Sokurov
“Auf der anderen Seite des Lebens,” Germany-Turkey, Fatih Akin
“The Banishment,” Russia-Belgium, Andrey Zvyagintsev
“Breath,” South Korea, Kim Ki-duk
“Les Chansons d’amour,” France, Christophe Honore
“Death Proof,” U.S., Quentin Tarantino
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” France, Julian Schnabel
“Import/Export,” Austria, Ulrich Seidl
“The Man From London,” Germany-France-U.K.-Hungary, Bela Tarr
“Mogari No Mor,” Japan, Naomi Kawase
“No Country For Old Men,” U.S., The Coen Brothers
“Paranoid Park,” France-U.S., Gus Van Sant
“Persepolis,” France-U.S., Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
“Promise Me This,” France-Serbia, Emir Kusturica
“Secret Sunshine,” South Korea, Lee Chang-dong
“Silent Light,” Mexico-France-Netherlands, Carlos Reygadas
“Tehilim,” France, Raphael Nadjari
“Une Vieille Maitresse,” France, Catherine Breillat
“We Own the Night,” U.S., James Gray
“Zodiac,” U.S., David Fincher

OUT OF COMPETITION

GALA SCREENINGS:
“A Mighty Heart,” U.K., Michael Winterbottom
“Ocean’s Thirteen,” U.S., Steven Soderbergh
“Sicko,” U.S., Michael Moore

MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS:
“Boarding Gate,” France, Olivier Assayas
“Go Go Tales,” U.S., Abel Ferrara
“U2 3D,” U.S., Catherine Owens and Mark Pellington

     I am a big fan of Neil Marshall. Dog Soldiers was a fun little campy horror movie that took Red Riding Hood to new levels and I have to disagree with Andrew about The Descent. I loved it. I am not claustrophobic but I could feel the pressure of thousands of tonnes of rock on me just by watching the movie. I do feel the second half is weaker than the first but even after it turned into more of an action horror I loved the strength and weaknesses of the women as they fought off their attackers.

     I was browsing over at IMDB and I discovered that Marshall’s new film Doomsday has been listed. Here is their plot summary:

Great Britain, 2007. A deadly plague, known as the “Reaper Virus,” has broken out, killing hundreds of thousands in its wake. In desperation, the British Government evacuates as many survivors as it can out of the infected area, and then builds a wall, preventing the remainder from escaping. Thirty years later, with the wall still up and the victims all but forgotten, the virus breaks out again. The Government decides to send a crack team of operatives, led by Major Eden Sinclair, into the hot zone to investigate the possibility of a cure.

     It almost sounds a lot like 28 Weeks Later with a wall added on. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt though since I’ve enjoyed both his other movies. There are two other reasons why I’m interested in Doomsday. The cast listing has Bob Hoskins in it and some further searching led me to Screen Head which told me that Malcolm McDowell has also joined the cast as a scientist. Both of them are great character actors. The more I think on it my expectations are getting pretty high for this now.

     Andrew has been kind enough to give me the ability to blog here about movies and other things that interest me. I’ve been blogging on and off now for about 5 years or so. I have my own little movie site that my friends use to see what I’m thinking of seeing in theater each week but it doesn’t really cover much more than that. I’m a computer technician with the Canadian Federal Government. I’m in my mid Thirties with one son who is already addicted to kid’s movies at the age of 4. My wife has very different tastes than I do in movies. She likes happy romance comedies, while I like good movies. I figure the best way to see what I’m like is for me to post a top 10 list of movies. These top 10 lists always amuse me because no sooner than I post one of them I change my mind. There are really too many good movies to definitively say what are my favorite. Given that, here are my current top 10:

10. A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Too The Forum
I generally don’t like slapstick but there is just something about this movie that makes me laugh. I think it also has something to do with the fact that one of my old Classics (Greek and Roman studies) professors used to show this to all his 1st year courses. It has a who’s who of old comedians. One of the best parts is Zero Mostel contorting his face to actually appear as a classical theater mask.

9. Léon
This is my favorite Luc Besson film. There is just something wonderful in a dark way about the relationship between Mathilda and Léon. What really puts it in the top 10 for me is the ending scene between Léon and Stansfield. I can’t think of a more beautifully filmed death.

8. Miller’s Crossing
I’m Irish Canadian and I have a thing for gangster crime flicks. The Coen Brothers out do all other gangster flicks for style. I may think that the Godfather Trilogy is a more important and better filmed piece of cinema but I enjoy Miller’s Crossing much more and have seen it more times than I can count.

7. Unforgiven
This is such a powerful poignant western. Clint Eastwood shows everyone that he has the chops to be a top director for the first time in my opinion. I love movies that have a sadness about them yet tell a good story. I can’t think of a better movie when it comes to that.

6. Drunken Master II
I was introduced to Jackie Chan back before he was recognized in North America with this movie at my University Theater. That theater is now closed but I still have fond memories of being amazed at what Jackie does in Drunken Master II. I don’t think he’s come close in any of his other movies to the comedic and action brilliance he showed here.

5. Indiana Jones Trilogy*
Indiana Jones is what turned me onto Archeology originally. All three of these are great pulp with wonderful action. My order of preference would be Raiders, Last Crusade and then finally Temple of Doom.

4. Original Star Wars Trilogy*
I know it is mostly due to the nostalgia effect but I love all three of these movies. I pretty much hate the new trilogy and wish that Lucas had never created them. At least once a year I have a movie day where I watch all three of these in a row. My order of preference would be Last Hope, Empire Strikes Back and then Return of the Jedi. I know that Empire is a better film but I just prefer watching Last Hope more. Perhaps its because I remember seeing it at the drive in so many years ago.

3. Little Children
Something just clicked with me when I watched Little Children. Perhaps its because I could connect on some level with Brad. What really set this movie apart for me was the sense of dread I had going into the finale. I couldn’t believe how tied up I had become with all the characters. Normally I complain about happy ending type movies but in the end I was surprised and pleased with the feeling of hope that came from the ending of Little Children.

2. Infernal Affairs Trilogy*
I was hosting a party at my place one evening and it ended up wrapping up a bit early. I didn’t feel like heading to bed just yet so I threw in Infernal Affairs. Five or so hours later I had watched all of them in a row. The first movie is so subtle in its story compared to the remake. While the second and third movies are each a bit weaker than the first they still tell a wonderful story when combined as one large movie.

1. Oldboy
I can’t think of a movie that made me go “wow” afterwards more than this movie. Old Boy is filmed so well and tells such a great revenge story. While I don’t think think the North American remake will come anywhere near the brilliance of the original I am hoping that it will mean the DVD of the original is released wide to North America. I can’t really say too much about how good this movie is in a very short space other than to simply suggest to track it down however possible.

* I generally count trilogies as one big movie.

     Even before X-Men 3 hit the theaters there had been rumors of both Wolverine and Magneto getting their own spin-offs. The most recent news is that David Goyer is going to be directing the upcoming Magneto movie. According to Variety via FirstShowing.net

     The film will be an origin story that was mentioned in the first X-Men film regarding Magneto coming to grips with his mutant ability to manipulate metal objects as he and his parents try to survive in Auschwitz; the first scene in the first X-Men film featured this when he was a young kid. Continuing on, Magneto meets Professor Xavier when Xavier is a soldier liberating the concentration camp. After that, Magneto begins to hone his powers by hunting down and killing Nazi war criminals that tortured him, and his lust for vengeance turns Xavier and Magneto into enemies. Both characters in the spin-off will be played by actors in their 20s.

     I am unsure on several things when it comes to a Magneto spin-off. I don’t think they will find someone with the on screen presence of Ian McKellen to play Magneto. The chemistry between him and Patrick Stewart will also be missing but I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. They are making the correct choice in having this take place in the past but will they go with virtual unknowns or big stars. Both could work, for now I guess we are just in a wait and see. My pick would be for two unknowns. It worked well for X-men and Superman.

     David Goyer directing is the other thing that has me unsure about Magneto’s success. Everything he has done so far has either been hit or miss. His screenplay for Batman Begins was near perfect but then you have to remember that he was also responsible for the mess of Blade: Trinity.

Magneto could really go either way. It could end up being another Fantastic 4 or Spiderman.

 Cinecast Episode 44 [91:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

These are the show notes for Cinecast Episode #44.
You can download or subscribe to the show HERE

Vacancy:

Movie Patron review by Andrew Dykstra
Official Site

Other films referenced:
Kontroll (IMDb) - Kurt’s Review
High Tension (IMDb) - Andrew’s Review
Documentary Film on fonts: Helvetica (official site)

Pulp Fiction in typography (similar, though more spastic, to Vacancy’s opening titles):

Bill’s Big Pumpkins

Trailer:

Time Lapse examples from the film:

Andrew’s review
Official Site

Movie Patron Forum:
What makes a movie better or worse? (forum topic)
Fred Camper article on DVD vs Film

Movies you’re embarrassed you’ve never seen (forum topic)

Movies we’ve never seen:
KURT:
The Searchers
It’s a Wonderful Life
Gone with the Wind
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Tootsie
The Graduate
Dumb & Dumber

ANDREW:
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Sound of Music
Grease!
It’s a Wonderful Life
Animal House
Say Anything
Space Balls

DVD Picks of the Week:

The Queen:

Andrew’s review of THE QUEEN

Deja Vu:

Andrew’s review of DEJA VU

Tears of the Black Tiger:

Andrew’s review of TEARS OF THE BLACK TIGER

Homework:

Rent Nimrod Antal’s Kontroll (IMDb) - Kurt’s REVIEW HERE

Comments or questions?
feedback@moviepatron.com (general)
andrew@moviepatron.com
kurt@moviepatron.com
- - Kurt’s BLOG

     Maybe this is old news, but Kurt just sent me some fun with movie posters. Just change one letter of a film title and you have an entirely different film. This is a contest that you can enter. Here’s the main page to enter yourself if you’re good with photoshop and being witty. You can see all the entries there, but here are a few of my favorites:

See the rest of the entries right HERE, at Worth1000.com

UPDATE: - OK, gotta mention two more:

I’m done now. I swear. Go check em yourself.

 Cinecast Episode 43 [85:58m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

These are the show notes for Cinecast Episode #43.
You can download or subscribe to the show HERE

Wind that Shakes the Barley

Andrew’s review
Movie Patron article on this film winning the Palme d’Or at Cannes
Showtimes in your area
Official Site

Edward Norton in the Hulk:
Cinema Fusion Article

Indy IV Script News:

Our Blog Post
original CHUD article mentioning the aliens and UFOs HERE

DVD Picks of the Week:

FERPECT CRIME (North American title: “Perfect Crime”)

Kurt’s review
N/A at Blockbuster (until I get through with them)
Rent at Netflix

THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Andrew’s review
Rent at Blockbuster
Rent at Netflix

Opening this Weekend:

Hot Fuzz (Kurt’s review):

Fracture:

Over rated actor, Anthony Hopkins’ filmography

Vacancy (dir: Nimród Antal):

Kurt praises Kontroll - by the same driector as Vacancy. - HERE’S Kurt’s review

oh yeah…
Kate Beckinsdale is hot:

Black Book (aka Zwartboek):